Adumbrations

Hidden messages to lie in our hands
Waiting for sunset to fall
Calling out sanity to rescue our souls
Forgiveness an answer to all

A heart that is torn between comfort and pain
Drawing out feelings and tagging on blame
He waits in the silence to hear her sweet words
Knowing that only he's causing this hurt

Wanting affairs to be cured of this cancer
Attempts are made futile in the wake of your storm
And you dig with intensity to vindicate this error
While your hands hold tightly to her withered form

But a shadow is only consequential to one
And will lead to your ultimate demise...

Camber

No way
Her heart
Will bend
For another
The way
It had
For him

Disabled

Reeling
Exhausted
Returning
From shame
Waiting it out
Accepting the pain
Her sole reminder
That life actually is

Doppelgänger

Rest your hand on her shoulder-
Bend down,
Kneel at her feet,
Gaze into her hopeless, blank, solitary eyes.

Plead with her,
Find her voice,
Beg her to stand,
To continue on,
To find solace in the sun.

Rationalize with her,
"Life goes on-
Not all is lost!
Don't let yourself fall...
Jaded."

She doesn't move.
Barely stirred to a blink.

Hardly alive-
Her expression,
Her eyes,
Her body,
Dismissive in nature.

You stand

Defeated

Because today is the day
You walk away from yourself
Decimated and stricken

Frozen

In a rotting, wooden chair

July

Its not great... but I just need some way to express myself, so we'll leave it at that.

I don’t know where he changed

And decided I meant nothing

Not even worth the friendship we once had

Every other girl in the world is worth his time and effort

But no-

I am “pining after him-

Its inappropriate”

Yeah…

Never mind the fact I am happily engaged

Getting ready for life with my best friend

Better a friend than you could ever try to be

If you had ever tried…

But still, I’m pining.

Apparently.

Then again, think it over

Maybe I’m not

Maybe I genuinely cherished our friendship

Genuinely cherished you as a human being

Maybe I genuinely just miss spending time with you

The one person whom I had shared everything with

Yeah, I sound lovesick-

But its not true

I mean, I guess it is-

I am lovesick, but not for you

Maturity is something you’ve always claimed

Held high in the air

Said here I stand

With the world under my feet

My life on track…

But where is that now?

Now that you’ve grown older?

Supposedly wiser?

Supposedly more loving

And caring

And kinder?

You only want this when its convenient for you

But the sad thing… yes, sad, but true…

Is I never waited for convenience with you

You’ll go on living

Exactly as I will

And you’ll never regret

The day you decided

That I was the least

Most unimportant

Piece of trash

You’ve ever laid eyes on

And I will go on

Living my life

Remembering the friend

regretting the love

rebuilding my trust…

and trying so hard

so very very hard

to never look back

or wish for a friend

that never would come

Vines

Jealousy isn’t becoming of a person,

But what does he care?

Lock your doors, shut them tight,

But in the end- he is breaking in.

Kicking through walls, smashing in windows,

Destroying your every chance for survival.

He never rests.

So, prepare yourself-

Face him, armed.

When he breaks down your barriers,

Attack him full force,

Because trust me,

He will destroy every last fiber of who you are

And wreak havoc so masterfully

That it almost leaves lives beyond repair.

Sometimes he takes over for years,

Holding you hostage until somebody gives

Or until retirement has reached you at a bitter old age

To the Wayside

I wish I could still call you a friend;

That the memories we had aren’t just left to the past

Meaning nothing

Just because we didn’t last…

Having grown to be best friends,

I believed that maybe, possibly,

You might for a moment think

That I am actually worth something-

I’m worth the time you have for everyone else;

I’m not just something you pass by without hesitation…

Such stupid notions to waste on your person.

Those moments we thought that word, forever,

Were pointless, worthless and left us living in denial.

Now I see you and know

That everything which happened

Was absolutely meaningless.